Thoughts on ‘Titanium’ and our desire to be bullet proof

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Don’t you love having a song stuck in your head? Especially when its been there for the past…6 days. That’s been me with the song “Titanium”, it started with me remembering one of the lines, then listening to the song and then it gets stuck and I can’t get it out! With all that time, it has given me some time to reflect a lot on the words to this song. First of all, just the title is awesome: “Titanium”. You can’t hear it and not think of words like: strong, reliable, resiliant and so on. The name itself comes from the word “Titan” which in Greek mythology were the being stronger even than the gods themselves.

Listening to the words and the beautiful voice of Sia gives even more to reflect on. For those not familiar with the words, here they are:

You shout it out,
But I can’t hear a word you say
I’m talking loud, not saying much
I’m criticized but all your bullets ricochet
Shoot me down, but I get up

I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium

Cut me down
But it’s you who’ll have further to fall
Ghost town and haunted love
Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones
I’m talking loud not saying much

I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium
I am titanium
I am titanium

Stone-heart, machine gun
Firing at the ones who run
Stone heart loves bulletproof glass

You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium
I am titanium

The song is about being stronger and more resilient than the attacks others throw at us. The more I encounter people and their brokenness, the more I see how afraid people are to admit they have been hurt, to make themselves vulnerable. Even if they really have been hurt, the response becomes anger, not fear or sadness. Anger is a much easier emotion for us to deal with. So people will make themselves hard and defensive to stop themselves from being hurt. I think about the words of CS Lewis in regards to this:“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Maybe the greatest pain, isnt the wound that they inflict on us, but on the impossibility of having wounds inflicted on us. When we do this, not only do we live an incarnate hell on earth which is a place of seculsion, but we also become prisoners to the hurt and the pain and the memory.

I love to think of the story of St. Maria Goretti. A 12 year old girl who was cornered by one of her neighbors and wanted to rape her, she refused saying she would rather die than committ that sin. He then stabbed her 14 times and left her to die. On her death bed, after a painful surgery with no pain killers, she said, “I forgive Alessandro and I want him in heaven with me”. She later appeared to Alessandro in prison and gave him 14 lillies, one for each time he stabbed her.

St. Maria Goretti found strength in forgiveness. Forgivness is not saying what they did is ok or good, but its not letting yourself be a prisoner to the anger and bitterness. Is giving up the right to be anger and yes it means making yourself vulnerable again, but its saying that you are now filled with compassion rather than anger. Maria was made strong, truely strong by allowing herself to be hurt but then forgiving.

Maybe in your own life there is someone who has hurt you and you want to cut them out of your life. You have bitterness maybe even hatred towards them. To embrace that is to drink the poison yourself hoping it hurts them. We are made prisoners of that person and that memory and thus, we are weak. Forgiveness makes us stronger than our worst enemies, the greatest of all being hatred. Pray for God to help you forgive, make that choice or if anything, ask God to help you on that road.

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